


The Weight of the Living

by Sansas_reylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, Gen, Introspection, Pre-Episode, it's just mentions of them really, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 03:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sansas_reylo/pseuds/Sansas_reylo
Summary: Should the pain go away, what would you do? It was one of the few questions that kept him awake at night, even if he couldn't sleep anyway.Vader thinks about his past before coming to Malachor. Pre Twilight of the Apprentice





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's me again. With another Vader centric fanfiction. I just love imagining what going on inside his head!  
> I don't own anything except my feels.

_Should the pain go away, what would you do?_ It was one of the few questions that kept him awake at night, even if he couldn't sleep anyway. It has been so long since he dreamed or had a nightmare. It began years ago, when the very first nightmare of his mother dying came to him.

Vader immediately pushed this thought at the back of his mind. His master was too close and could read into him like an open book. Instead, he focused on his rage and felt the Dark side coming to him like a magnet. Funny enough, it always came first, thick and heavy whispering about promises of power. But in the end, he could also feel the Light Side from afar. It wasn't something the Sith Lord enjoyed much. Neither did his master. And as much as they have tried to make it go away, it always came back, keeping its distance, but present.

Darth Vader refused to acknowledge it every time and blamed the Jedi and Kenobi for its persistence. Especially Kenobi. Vader's former master was a tenacious thought, a need for revenge that hasn't been drenched yet and an open wound. He was the reason Skywalker had failed to see the truth, and why he failed to save his wife. Kenobi has done nothing but lie to Skywalker, something Vader would never forget even if he tried to erase everything related to his old life. Actually, the hate the Sith Lord had against the man who took everything away from him made him even more powerful in the Force than ever.

His master has been right all along. About the Dark Side and about the Republic and the Jedi. These two old institutions had been corrupted to the core, ancient model of a bygone era which allowed the sacrifice of innocent people to achieve what they called the “Greater Good”. The Jedi Order was the worst, as they falsely accused one of their own just to satisfy the Republic's need of a black sheep. Ordering best friends to lie to each other because they didn't trust one of them. Vader was glad they were gone but one thing kept him away from true satisfaction: the awaiting death of Kenobi, his greatest nemesis. He would not enjoy anything more than that moment.

For 14 years the Sith Lord had to juggle between securing the new Empire, hunting down the remaining Jedi scum and finding Kenobi. But for the past few months, he had to chase after a rebel cell rumored to hide a Jedi and his padawan. And for the longest of time, Vader didn't believe it. They were no Jedi left except Kenobi and Yoda. Until they became too much of a nuisance and he had to go to Lothal himself to see what was the deal about. And yes, he had been welcomed by a former padawan who called himself Kanan Jarrus, even if Vader never remembered a youngling being called like that, and his apprentice, a boy of 14 named Ezra Bridger.

The presence of the boy had hurt a lot, because deep down, Vader knew that his child would have had the same age, had he been given the chance to live. And that child would have been so powerful in the Force, Skywalker had felt it even when he was still in his mother's womb.

But the last killing blow had been that presence, that Force signature he would recognize anywhere in the whole wide galaxy. Skywalker's former Padawan. That little Togruta had remained alive during all these years, going under the Empire radar. The apprentice lived and somehow, it had rubbed salt in the old wounds. How dare she be against the Empire? The Jedi Order and the Republic took everything away from her, she should be with them, not fighting alongside those rebels. So when he had to report back to his master, he mentioned her, and his master thought that she could know about Kenobi's whereabouts. But for Darth Vader, it seemed impossible. Kenobi stood helpless when the Padawan was kicked out of the order, and it wouldn't have surprised him if she resented Kenobi for that. She always had a short temper, much like Skywalker.

That was one of the reason Vader dearly wished to kill her. She represented that beacon of hope, the idea that the Jedi were still respected across the galaxy even if they have fallen into oblivion and where now just rumors for those who hadn't meet Jarrus and his pathetic little crew. But she was also his past, as Anakin Skywalker, the mistakes he had made, the people he let down, the reasons of his own downfall as a member of this corrupt institution and how he rose stronger than ever, but too late to save the only person who was worth saving.

The single thought of Padmé's death sent a cold fury into his blood and rage spilled out into his head. It was all Kenobi's fault. And The Order's. And the padawan's. One of them had already paid the price of their betrayal but two were still on the run. But an imperial officer interrupted his thoughts.

“Lord Vader. We have received information from the Inquisitors. The rebel Jedi are heading towards Malachor III. Do you want us to prepare a squad of stormtroopers?”

That was some really good news. The revenge finally came. At the end of the day, the Sith Lord could come back to his first hunt. Unless she accepted the Emperor's offer. He knew she would make a marvelous inquisitor. After all, he was the one who trained her.

“No. I'll deal with them myself. Prepare my ship at once”

Soon, he will end it all. And the pain will have to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! :D


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